Alright, you gentlemen, buckle up for some brutal honesty and common sense. Let’s dive into why sticking your junk in the company pool is a horrible idea. I am not kidding, most men do it all the time, and then it blows up on their faces. It honestly is the insanity of the highest order. Not to mention all the drama, embarrassment, and legal trouble you can get into, it is definitely not worth it.
Don’t Sh*t Where You Eat:
Listen up. Thinking you can fool around with someone at work without it blowing up in your face is peak stupidity of the highest order. Seriously, it’s like juggling chainsaws while blindfolded – it’s only a matter of time before you lose something important. For men, it’s even riskier. You’re looking at potential lawsuits, getting passed over for promotions, or outright losing your job. So, unless you enjoy setting your career on fire, keep it in your pants at work.
Now, when I say insanity of the highest order, I am not kidding. Many men will say Yeah yeah, we know we should not date women at work etc etc. You say that, and you still do it. So many men go and hit on women at work.
It sucks to say this, but it has to be said:
If things turn romantic and go south — you are legally and reputationally exposed to so many risks
That flirty Slack thread? It could be screenshotted.
That after-hours drink? It could become misinterpreted.
That consensual relationship? It could be reviewed under HR policy.
The risk isn’t just heartbreak. It’s career-ending. Do you want to run your life forever? Be my guest
The Illusion of Convenience
I can already hear you whining, “But it’s so easy to hook up with someone at work!” Yeah, easy but also illegal and risky. You’re lazy and desperate if you’re targeting the girl in accounting, or god forbid the legal department just because she’s there. Newsflash: not everything that looks good is a good idea. Stop being a moron and don’t take risks with your career and finances. You are seconds away from disaster and getting into legal trouble.
In every company I have worked for, I have seen workplace romance happening. We all know it’s a bad idea and can backfire horribly but why do we still do this? In spite of seeing and hearing about workplace romance disasters guys still do it. Why is that?
A Glimpse into the Stupidity of Workplace Romances
I’ve seen it all, and trust me, the workplace is a hotbed for idiocy. At least 30-40% of you reading this have either hooked up with a coworker or tried to. And my favorite? The married guys who are sleeping with colleagues at work. Seriously, if you’re that desperate, there are better ways to screw up your life. Please use your common sense guys.
How to Avoid Being a Workplace Disaster and actually make things work:
Alright, now that I’ve slapped you around a bit, let’s talk solutions. There are ways to enjoy your job without ruining it with a workplace romance.
- Play the Long Game If you meet a hot chick at work, get her number, add her on social media, and then back off. Stay mysterious. Ignore her. Make her wonder why you are not hitting on her like every other man at work. When one of you leaves the job, that’s when you make your move. Trust me, it works like magic. Ask her out for a date and see how interested she is in you. Trust me she will love you more. The point is you can mess with the women who once worked with you but not the ones who are currently working with you. Once they don’t work with you they are free game.
- Friends of your colleagues Are Fair Game. You can hook up with their friends and use them and wing girls. Just don’t dip your nip in company ink. Hooking up with someone who’s only tangentially connected to your work, like the FedEx girl or someone in a different building, is a grey area. Be cautious, but it’s not a total no-go. Still, tread carefully, since company laws differ in different companies. Also, most companies have the same campuses in some cases. You can always try your luck with girls from other companies on the same campus that is fine. Make sure you do not break any rules at work.
- Friends and Family of Coworkers. These are fair game unless it’s your boss’s daughter of course don’t do that. Unless something is seriously wrong with you. Don’t brag about it at work, but feel free to pursue their friends or previous co-workers. Just keep it classy and discreet. Be a gentleman. Keep your mouth shut. Never brag about who you slept with or are currently sleeping with.
Final Words of Wisdom
Next time you get the urge to dip your pen in the company ink, just say no. Get out there, meet new people, and get laid the right way. Use night game, day games, online dating – whatever works for you. Just don’t screw up your career for a quick lay. Be smart, or at least, try to be less stupid.
There you have it, guys. Stop being lazy, get some self-respect, and keep your workplace drama-free. Try to keep it in your pants where you work for the love of god. If you want to actually get good with women book a call with Kosmo and start getting your dating life in order.