In the world of dating and seduction, there’s always a heated debate: Is picking up women simply a numbers game?
The idea is simple: even if you’re an average guy—nothing particularly remarkable in terms of looks, health, or intellect—you can still find success by casting a wide net and approaching as many women as humanly possible.
Now, does the above approach work? Yes, but only to a certain extent, since the odds of women dating you are always on the lower side. So maybe 10 out of 100 women you approach decide to go on a date with you. Something like that.
Let me start by saying: On a basic probabilistic level, yes, dating is partially a numbers game.
The more people you interact with, the more chances you have to find one who is:
- Physically attracted to you,
- Emotionally available,
- Interested in your vibe,
- Aligned with your lifestyle,
- And single and down for you
That seems obvious.
Now, is this practical?? Definitely no.
You cannot just go around approaching 100 girls every week, cause it is not sustainable, and you will get exhausted, and you cannot even go to the same place again and again.
Now you do need to approach women to get good and talk to women and have a fun life with women, and build social circles.
So even though it’s true that the more women you approach, the higher the likelihood that at least one will be interested in getting to know you better. It’s a matter of statistics. But do you want to spend your entire day trying to approach girls? For most people, the answer is no.
What Really Moves the Needle?
Let’s test this:
- You approach 100 women with bad eye contact, poor body language, and a bad vibe. You get… maybe 2 phone numbers.
- You approach 10 women with good energy, and calibration → playful → flirty & fun vibes. You get 5 numbers.
Which system scales?
The answer is clear: Skill outperforms numbers.
How the Dating Market Works
Women are the market, you are the product. And just like sales if you have enough value, and convey that value properly, you will be in high demand. You need to be the prize. So at the end of the day, you are into sales whether you like it or not.
This is the law of averages; Now, like a good salesman, if you approach many women, eventually some of them will sleep with you. If you approach 1000’s of women, you will have more than enough women to sleep with you every day. For women, that’s a problem cause they lose their value when you have a lot of women you can sleep with. Her currency in the dating market that he hordes the most is: Sex, her love, and care.
When a woman wants to punish you, what does she do? She takes sex away from the relationship. That way, she stays in control of the relationship. But what happens when you have multiple women to sleep with you when she says no? Now she has no power in the relationship. If you are the prize, then you can easily have plenty of women chasing you, trying to be with you.
Thats a true abundance mentality that you can get by creating a social circle filled with beautiful women. So that is a better solution than a straight numbers game. That is why the social circle game is so key when dating high-quality women.
You still need to do the reps to build calibration.
You can’t become a great chef without burning a few omelets.
So yes — especially early on — you do need a period of volume, but only as a training ground for you to get with women.
The end goal isn’t quantity — it’s quality
Let’s break down the numbers game aspect further. Consider a hypothetical “rule of thumb”: for every ten women you engage with, two or three might be receptive enough to give you their phone number. From those numbers, you might secure at least one date. If you consistently approach ten women per day for a month, you could potentially line up ten dates each month. These statistics aren’t random. They are records from my students who have done exactly this. So for 10 dates, you ended up approaching at least 100-200 women as a beginner in dating.
Now, you might think, well, that sounds pretty lame, having to approach so many women. But what’s the alternative?
The correct balance comes from building such an amazing social circle that women come into your life.
So what can we do to increase the odds of success?
Well, the answer lies in self-improvement and learning social skills.
If you dress well, groom yourself properly, look smart, are charming, witty, confident, and can give her amazing conversations and emotional rollercoasters that turn her on. Now suddenly, instead of 2/10 girls, you are getting numbers from 5/10 girls. Your odds of getting good dates just went up by a lot. Now, if you really get good at the dating game and in your career and life, your odds get even better.
It’s essential to recognize that successful dating and attraction isn’t solely about quantity—it’s about quality too. So you need to be a bit more selective with girls when it comes to whether or not they are worth your time or not.
So when you grind in the gym and get those six packs, you went from a 3 to a 5. When you started making a lot of money, dressing like a legend, with confidence and charm, you upgraded from 5 to 8, and so on.
What if you are looking for only one girlfriend or a few good girlfriends?
Now, let’s address some common misconceptions surrounding pickup culture. Pickup can get dark cause people get addicted to the numbers game. Some guys just become sex addicts and can’t stop themselves from hitting on every hot girl they see.
But at the same time. If you want to know if an apple is good or not. You need to taste a few apples. If you only taste one apple, you will think that’s the best apple in the world. Which, in many cases, is a lie.
But here’s the thing: quality over quantity, my friend. You gotta be picky about who you spend your time with. No point chasing after every pretty face if they ain’t worth your while.
Play the Numbers Game…Get the Girls.
So, is pickup merely a numbers game? In some ways, yes. However, you can change the odds of the game by working on yourself and improving your lifestyle and the value you provide. You hold the power to shape your dating experiences and create the relationships you desire. So, if you’re willing to put in the work and be the best version of yourself, the odds start to look a whole lot better. So go ahead, and play the game, but remember: you hold all the cards.
By building an amazing social circle, you can pretty much automate the getting new girls in your life part. Play smarter, not harder. Preselection works like magic, my friend. Want to learn how to get started and build an amazing social circle? Book A call with Kosmo..!!!